Those Shoes...

Got deformed feet? Do your kids? Any men you know? I’m not talking about toenail fungus; I’m talking about bones that go every which way and bunions: bone that grows in an attempt to keep that teetering body of yours vertically balanced.

Those shoes, those pointy little high-heel torture chambers, one for each foot. How many pairs do you have in your closet? Are they in there with your skeletons? Yes, I love these torture chambers too, always have, always will. But my feet hate them! They cry for mercy should I wear a pair. Fashion! Slave to fashion, I’ve been a fash-ist! But I’ve grown older…wiser? No, wussier. My feet and I just don’t have the high pain threshold we use to and no man is going to carry me over that threshold again! You think women design these shoes? (I trust they are, out there making the comfortable ones.) It was Leonardo DiVinci. Can you believe it!?! (and the Japanese to stay clear of the mud).

Now Mister DiVinci, Mister flying machine, genius, artist, did not need to be any closer to God, (even though you can almost get “Divine” out of his name). I am convinced God and DiVinci were brothers. It was those short royal guys that needed to be close to and impersonate God or so they thought, and they needed someone to design taller shoes.

Take Louis the fourteenth. Short, not too cute, high-heel shoes and that re-dick-ulous white wig were his “spiritual aids.” I do not know if Leonardo was sick of wallowing in mud or not. He lived a long time and I don’t think it was mud that did him in.

Barefoot and present (no, I wasn’t going to say pregnant—that’s your choice) upon, as close as you can get, to unconditionally supportive Mother Earth is the way to go: sans fashion accidents and deformity. But because of the weather and all that concrete and asphalt and those signs in the stores: “No Shoes, No Service,” we wear shoes. So start listening to your feet, get comfortable: www.walkshop.com/store or www.footsmart.com/Storefront, athletic shoes designed by women for women: www.onlineshoes.com.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve always envied those women that wear their fuzzy slipper shopping.

Strange, but true,
Stayfunny Wildgirl